Back to the Basic

Dog is good at just focusing on YOU (... except for squirrels sometimes)

A recent coaching session reminded me what is more important than the ‘shiny new toys’ I have been reflecting on recently i.e. different methods to conduct helping conversation e.g. Social Constructionism

In that coaching session, we reflected during the session on a recent intense interpersonal exchange, in particular on what the incident revealed about him as a person.  At the end of that session, the coachee asked me, ‘How did you manage to help me understand myself and the situation?’   I was stunned and intrigued as I have never been asked by a coachee with such a question.  I certainly also noticed myself being flattered by it.   We then launched into a joint enquiry on his question – his observation and my own introspection.  

We talked about skill-set and mind-set.   The thought stood out the most for me is that it all boils down to the question ‘Am I really curious about the person?’.  This idea is covered in most coaching 101.   I also wrote about it in the blog in 2020 - ‘Just the Person’.  To quote a few lines what I wrote there:

If there are only a few things staying in mind before and during a session, they are:

NOT the methods / models….

NOT the hypotheses / ‘games’….

NOT the PRO….

NOT the Competing Commitment / Big Assumption….

NOT the coaching outcome…

NOT me…. or how much I am liked

BUT the PERSON and our working alliance.

It is not a new realization but an important one.  I wrote this post to remind myself that, especially since I can easily be distracted by other (good) intentions e.g. the desire to try out new methods or to come up with ‘solutions’.