top of page

ASK, NOT TELL
....and many other thoughts about facilitation, coaching ( teams & individuals) and learning
Archive


Words Make Worlds: Social Constructionism and Coaching
Our words don’t just describe reality – They create it.
David
Nov 75 min read
Â
Â
Â


‘Family’ ≠‘Systemic’
A Hong Kong made movie about family as well as living and dying My training in the last 2 years is in the field what most would call ‘Systemic Family Psychotherapy’. But what is really meant by ‘systemic’?   Can one apply such ‘systemic’ approach to non-family entities including individuals?  ‘Systemic’  It is a big word.  The more I pay attention to it in the field of therapy and coaching, the more I realize the word means different things in different practices.  When
David
Oct 34 min read
Â
Â
Â


'How did you manage to do this?'
I find myself asking this question more and more often in my coaching work. Asking this question (with a tone out of curiosity and...
David
Dec 25, 20234 min read
Â
Â
Â


The moment just before
It has been a long while since I last wrote.  So much things have happened and there are a lot to reflect on. Let me first reflect on a...
David
Dec 14, 20233 min read
Â
Â
Â


‘Relations’ Rather Than ‘Parts’
I enjoy the diagnosis as much as the intervention part of my work. I always derive a lot of fun and learn a lot in working out with...
David
Sep 23, 20223 min read
Â
Â
Â


Sherlock vs Dorothy
I happened to come across again these 2 movies after I wrote my last post on 'Appreciating Defense'. The main characters in the movies...
David
Jun 1, 20221 min read
Â
Â
Â


Appreciating Defence
Day 55 of the lockdown. The official announcement is that the restriction is being relaxed. But …. along with many others, our compound is still under lockdown without any news when or under what condition it will end. Ironically, such discrepancy frustrates people (me included) even more. In an attempt to 'take some control back', I am trying to derive some learning out of it. In the last post 'Shanghai Lockdown like a GRC' , I reflected on how similar the experienc
David
May 22, 20224 min read
Â
Â
Â


Walking into the ‘Shadow’ Together
(Photo source - https://snapshotsforsoreeyes.com/2015/06/22/light-at-the-end/) Jimmy (pseudonym) told me (as the coach), ‘I am...
David
Apr 20, 20223 min read
Â
Â
Â


A Midwife for Team Effectiveness
It was a difficult case of intact team development. Aspiration Bridge Company (pseudonym) is a foreign-owned financial services company...
David
Mar 31, 20223 min read
Â
Â
Â


Developing with and through others
(Photo source: Flora Baker @ twitter.com) 2021 has been a busy year. With the quieter Jan, I am going to catch up with my reflection...
David
Jan 24, 20223 min read
Â
Â
Â


Role – How a dog can ‘develop’ human
I reflected on the concept of ROLE in the last post – Why me again fixing the Wifi? I come across recently an unusual example in...
David
Mar 5, 20212 min read
Â
Â
Â


Role – Why me again fixing the Wifi?
One day I found myself attempting to fix the Wifi at home again.  I was somehow annoyed with it.  ‘Why me again?’…. And I have already...
David
Feb 24, 20213 min read
Â
Â
Â


Smoking can fix a lot of our (team) problems
(Source: press.ikidane-nippon.com) An executive made a casual remark in a recent intact team development workshop, 'Smoking (together)...
David
Sep 3, 20203 min read
Â
Â
Â


Just the Person
‘Just the person’ I am reading again the article ‘What is the difference and what makes the difference? A comparative study of...
David
May 25, 20202 min read
Â
Â
Â


Playing ‘Offence’ in Leadership Development
[Photo source unidentified. Please advise if anyone knows. I will add the source accordingly] Numerous articles on the internet have...
David
May 12, 20202 min read
Â
Â
Â


‘Games’…. in Cantonese
(The psychological game – NIGYSOB – ‘Now I’ve got you, you son of a bitch’) This is another post which probably only my Cantonese readers...
David
Apr 5, 20202 min read
Â
Â
Â


‘Zero collusion’ can be equally bad
My take on collusion (e.g. pleasing participants in developmental interventions) has been changing in the last few years. First, I was...
David
Dec 4, 20192 min read
Â
Â
Â


Seafood Market – What is really going on?
Many many years ago, there was a village where no one has ever eaten anything from the sea. A few village men accidentally caught a few...
David
Oct 29, 20193 min read
Â
Â
Â


‘Immunity to Change’ vs Psychodynamics
[Photo source unidentified. Please advise if anyone knows. I will add the source accordingly] I learnt to use the ‘Immunity to Change’...
David
Oct 19, 20194 min read
Â
Â
Â
Featured Posts




























bottom of page

