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ASK, NOT TELL

....and many other thoughts about facilitation, coaching ( teams & individuals) and learning

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Coach only if he wants to

Updated: Mar 24, 2022


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One of my friends came to me to talk about her career choices the other day. Somehow I launched into my coaching mode and started to ask questions. I did it unconsciously probably because I have done 2 coaching sessions before meeting my friend. After 5 minutes, looked annoyed, she said ‘David, I know that you are practicing your coaching but….’


That moment reinforced my previous realisation on how important coachee’s willingness is. I will almost say that coaching will never work if the coachee does not want to be coached. It could be rather intimidating to anyone when being thrown with a series of unsolicited questions. If unsolicited, those thought-provoking-coaching-questions can be particularly annoying.


At the very least, in the future, I should always ask ‘Is it OK if I ask a few questions for us to clarify the situation and your thought?’

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