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ASK, NOT TELL

....and many other thoughts about facilitation, coaching ( teams & individuals) and learning

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David

Focus what to do INSTEAD of what NOT to

Updated: Mar 24, 2022


HK Apr 2013

There is something I want to get better in my 1 on 1 coaching practice. I observe that from time to time I cannot help offer suggestion to the coachees. I have been telling myself not to, but the temptation is high. In chatting with a number of practitioners, I came to realise that the problem is what I focus. I focus my mind on NOT to offer suggestion. The more I think of suggestion, the more easily I give suggestion. Intsead, I should remind myself to listen. Challenge myself to really understand what the coachee said. Listen with the tone, facial expression, context, etc.


In short, my listening position should be ‘Listening to understand’ rather than ‘Listening to give suggestion’. Specifically, I should keep this question in mind: ‘What else can I do to REALLY understand him / her?’