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ASK, NOT TELL

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What is really Reflection? (Cont’d)

Updated: Mar 25


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I have further thought on this. Reflection is actually a few layers of ‘What does the experience mean to me?’ We asked ourselves this question a few times. Or the facilitator probes the learners a few times with this question…. probably in different forms though. Taking a 1 on 1 coaching scenario reflecting on a people management issue


Ch = Coach

Ce = Coachee


Ch: ‘So, now you have completed the re-structuring work. Shall we spend some time to reflect on it?’

Ce: ‘Sure’


Ch: ‘What does the experience mean to you?’

Ce: ‘It was tough. Frankly, I found it particularly in delivering the news to the individuals’


Ch: ‘What have you learnt from your experience in handling such difficulty?’

Ce: ‘Well… hm… I realise that for me it is better to be as open as possible….’


Take an experiential activity as another example in a one to many setting. Let’s say, the Marsh Mallow activity.


Facilitator = F

Learner = L


F: ‘So, what does the last 30 minutes (of activity) mean to you?’

L: ‘We find it difficult to get people to listen’


F: ‘What does it mean?’

L: ‘We were so drawn by the ‘doing’. They just could not wait to work on the material. Once it started, they did not listen. Well…. In fact, since the others did not listen, more people switched into the ‘doing’ mode as well’


F: ‘What does this observation mean to you at work?’

L: ‘Similar things happen at work. For example, people are drawn into the ‘how’ but not the ‘why’ in meetings… ‘


F: ‘What does it reflection mean for you in the future?’

L: ‘Perhaps we could allocate specific time duration to ‘not doing’…..’


In a way, these layers of ‘What does it mean’ question is like the 4F in activity debrief:


Feeling = How did you feel?

Fact = What happened?

Finding = What did you learn? What stood out for you?

Future = What do you plan to do differently?

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